Okay, folks. I happen to be white and I was born in the Deep South in 1949. My home town is Vicksburg, Mississippi. My brother and I were taught early on that the "n" word is simply not used in polite society. I don't think my parents or teachers would have been at all moved by the argument that we ought to be able to use it since black people use it with each other. That would have been considered completely irrelevant. As members of the dominant class that historically were the oppressors, we simply could not ever justify using it.
Now, here's the thing: I never wanted to. It says something to me that a white person would even want to use that word and therefore try to find a way to justify it.