Saturday, September 12, 2009

New rule

Many thanks to Matt Huculak for calling this to my attention. It's Bill Maher's latest "new rule" piece and I'm giving you just an excerpt. Go read the whole thing. You won't be sorry!

New Rule: Democrats must get in touch with their inner asshole. And no, I'm not being gratuitously crude when I say that.
If you missed it, the president attempted to merely tell school children to work hard and wash their hands, and Cracker Nation reacted as if he was trying to hire the Black Panthers to hand out grenades in homeroom. Of course, the White House immediately capitulated. "No students will be forced to view the speech," a White House spokesperson assured a panicked nation. Isn't that like admitting that the president might be doing something unseemly? What a bunch of cowards. If the White House had any balls, they'd say, "He's giving a speech on the importance of staying in school, and if you spineless jackasses don't show it to every damn kid in your school we're cutting off your federal education funding tomorrow."

The Democrats just never learn: Americans don't really care which side of an issue you're on as long as you don't act like pussies. When Van Jones called the Republicans assholes, he was paying them a compliment. He was talking about how they can get things done even when they're in the minority, as opposed to the Democrats, who can't seem to get anything done even when they control both houses of Congress, the presidency, and Bruce Springsteen.

I love Obama's civility in the face of such contumely, his desire to work with his enemies, it's positively Christ-like. In college, he was probably the guy at the dorm parties who made sure the stoners shared their pot with the jocks. But we don't need that guy now. We need an asshole. Mr. President, there are some people who are never going to like you. That's why they voted for the old guy and Carrie's mom. You're not going to win them over. Stand up for the 70% of Americans who aren't crazy.

I hate to say it but the President is just too nice. It really is possible to be tough and appropriately aggressive and still have integrity. I'm wondering if the Democrats think that since the Republicans are bullies and sadly lacking in integrity that if they (the Democrats I mean) come out swinging it means they're bad people. Not so.

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