Friday, November 24, 2006

Gaul versus gall

One of my friends in the UK, Rosemary Williams, sent me an article (by snail mail) from the Guardian Observer entitled Julius Caesar Had Gaul; Bush Just Has Gall by Terry Jones. Well, I read it and was struck by the fact that it is - quite simply - very, very, very good snark all the way through. Fortunately it wasn't hard to find on line. Here's how it gets started:

In 59BC, Julius Caesar declared he was so shocked by the incursions of the dangerous Helvetii tribe into Gaul, and the suffering of the Gaulish peoples, that he had himself appointed 'protector of the Gauls'. By the time he'd finished protecting them, a million Gauls were dead, another million enslaved and Julius Caesar owned most of Gaul. Now I'm not suggesting there is any similarity between George W Bush's protection of the Iraqi people and Caesar's protection of the Gauls.

For a start, Julius Caesar, as we all know, was bald, whereas George W Bush has a fine head of hair.

The article goes on like that and just doesn't let up. Here's another sample:

When Julius Caesar claimed his glorious victory over the Helvetii, he made it sound as if he had destroyed a vast army of 'wild and savage men'. Julius Caesar reckoned he had slaughtered more than 250,000 'insurgents'. In fact, documents found in the remains of the Helvetii camp showed that out of 368,000 people, only 92,000 had been capable of bearing arms.

In other words, it wasn't an army that Julius Caesar massacred, but a whole population including women, children, old and sick, which, I suppose, is one thing that George W Bush and Julius Caesar do have in common: pretending civilians are armed insurgents.

But there the similarity ends. One of the most fundamental differences between Julius Caesar and George W Bush is that Julius Caesar counted his dead, whereas George W Bush can't be bothered.

You know, it really is very sickening. It makes me wonder how the man sleeps nights. But, from all apprearances, he sleeps just fine. I guess sleep is not a problem when you don't have a conscience.

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